tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8356815487392618550.post3561892712373520958..comments2024-03-17T23:25:46.888-07:00Comments on Thoughts from a Bag Lady In Waiting: Some thoughts on silenceLinda Myershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05706455533282204519noreply@blogger.comBlogger13125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8356815487392618550.post-45798359009644425992016-05-25T11:00:12.634-07:002016-05-25T11:00:12.634-07:00Ah, Linda, this post resonated me with. I have ce...Ah, Linda, this post resonated me with. I have certainly known the angst of wondering if someone else's silence/lack of response was due to something I said, or did. I try not to go there, but I still do at times.<br /><br />Right now I'm remembering a dear letter I received from my aunt several weeks ago. I meant to respond right away . . . and then I didn't and we went on vacation, and I got busy. Now, I am reminded that I need to at least send an email and let her know I received her sweet letter.<br /><br />Sometimes, I'm the guilty one. :(<br />Sandihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15923693784234135636noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8356815487392618550.post-28473137663412177892016-05-23T18:19:17.135-07:002016-05-23T18:19:17.135-07:00I've learned over the years not to project my ...I've learned over the years not to project my feelings unto others...I'm almost always wrong. Like others who have commented, there was no silent treatment in my family. Mom yelled and Dad left the house, and a smack with the back of mom's hand or a yardstick was an almost daily occurrence. So I've never really experienced the silent treatment.<br /><br />Yet when my children left home, and I was on my own, I learned to treasure the silence. Even now, with my son living with me and my daughter close by there are often days between conversations. (My son and I will say good morning/night and how was your day...often that's it.) I wonder how they feel about my silence? <br /><br />Definitely a thought-provoking post. Thank for sharing.Sakuhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11508656442667275102noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8356815487392618550.post-81974747623745241102016-05-23T12:45:57.653-07:002016-05-23T12:45:57.653-07:0011 house guests have just departed. Soon I will ta...11 house guests have just departed. Soon I will tackle the sticky floors, dog foot prints, soiled bedding and leftovers. For now, I will bask in the silence. Yes, there are many reasons for silence and many responses to silence. I find I have to create silence in my mind so that I don't create something out of nothing, i.e. create my own conversation and misinterpretations. I have to ask myself whether it's the child-me or the adult-me who's responding. I often think of the Bambi movie when one of the little forest animals said - if you can't say something nice, don't say nothing at all. Some days it works! Like Linda says, I'm still way too tied into the feelings of others. Mona McGinnishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12234038212082778117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8356815487392618550.post-41683076212948395522016-05-22T16:42:05.488-07:002016-05-22T16:42:05.488-07:00"......""......" joehhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08520161706680568508noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8356815487392618550.post-26896497731159212002016-05-22T14:27:42.705-07:002016-05-22T14:27:42.705-07:00I know I can be slow in responding to other's ...I know I can be slow in responding to other's emails or returning calls so I am very understanding when it happens to me. I don't even make excuses for them for I feel they will get around to it when they can. If it goes on for a long time, I will get concerned that something might be wrong with them so I will make the move. <br />My parents never argued in front of us or lost their temper with us. If they got angry, one would walk away till they cooled down, then they would discuss the problem calmly. If it involved us kids, we were sent to our room while they gathered their thoughts. Discussion and punishment followed careful thought. I am so grateful for that. Arkansas Pattihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14156004753267665579noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8356815487392618550.post-45564303209646076042016-05-22T10:11:49.922-07:002016-05-22T10:11:49.922-07:00Great thought-provoking post. My husband and I are...Great thought-provoking post. My husband and I are both very introverted, so much of the time silence is just the energy-regenerating privacy we both naturally need. But sometimes it edges into a statement about some kind of dissatisfaction--his or mine or both. If it follows an actual argument, I'm aware of the silence and its meaning. But sometimes I'm clueless until he asks, "Have you noticed I've hardly spoken to you in two days? Don't you wonder why?" Oops. Nancy/BLissed-Out Grandmahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17223278142557533175noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8356815487392618550.post-69340643552278163502016-05-22T08:10:20.682-07:002016-05-22T08:10:20.682-07:00When I think back to when I was being scolded by m...When I think back to when I was being scolded by my mother, I remember harsh words and slaps across the face that wounded me deeply, but I was the one who went silent. I held my true thoughts and motives and fear in my head and in my heart. It took me a long time to become a "grown up", and emerge from my silence. <br />There are still many times now when I am silent. Introverts need that. And sometimes silence is the best way to not hurt other's feelings. I am still way too tied into the feelings of others.<br />Interesting post, very thought provoking. Linda Reederhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07665601809156707572noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8356815487392618550.post-90159288093395310462016-05-22T07:48:20.931-07:002016-05-22T07:48:20.931-07:00I learned very young to *give people the benefit o...I learned very young to *give people the benefit of the doubt*. I realized that if I had the choice of thinking something bad about someone or something good, that choosing the bad only made me feel bad. Whereas if I chose the good, I felt better... and if it turned out to be wrong, well... I would feel bad for a shorter time. Don't know if that makes sense, but it worked/works for me.Rianhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09472421271620543536noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8356815487392618550.post-55127546093328590392016-05-22T06:36:06.897-07:002016-05-22T06:36:06.897-07:00Very reflective and thoughtful. It's good to k...Very reflective and thoughtful. It's good to know where our vulnerable places are, those tender parts that will always need a little extra attention and compassion.Deb Shuckahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03439395710731341021noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8356815487392618550.post-14904244537568336722016-05-22T04:57:32.253-07:002016-05-22T04:57:32.253-07:00Our parents certainly do leave their marks. I thi...Our parents certainly do leave their marks. I think the silent treatment may be the most hurtful of all. Like you, I understand <i>why </i>certain behaviors trigger feelings of inadequacies in me, but that logical thinking doesn't happen until after I've had time to settle down and think about the situation more rationally.lyndagracehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13530605081989558341noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8356815487392618550.post-40351083676678357932016-05-22T04:54:55.500-07:002016-05-22T04:54:55.500-07:00It is a good thing to examine those automatic assu...It is a good thing to examine those automatic assumptions and where they come from--aa thought provoking post.Olgahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00692441479616299920noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8356815487392618550.post-46836080835824551222016-05-21T20:31:55.711-07:002016-05-21T20:31:55.711-07:00I only wish my mother had given me the silent trea...I only wish my mother had given me the silent treatment when I made her mad. But, she went into the kitchen and started slamming cabinet doors and pots and pans for what seemed like hours. When she got that out of her system, she berated me with every single thing I had ever done to upset her. Temper, temper. Bettyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07309266986583326824noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8356815487392618550.post-19239481285239835012016-05-21T19:12:22.795-07:002016-05-21T19:12:22.795-07:00It's good to know that you've learned such...It's good to know that you've learned such important facts about silence, yours and others. I found it all very interesting. Thank you for writing down these thoughts. :-)DJanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07152183871573797791noreply@blogger.com