Friday, August 20, 2010

Black-Eyed Woman

I look like a Halloween mask, but I can see so much better! When I got out of the opthalmologist's chair after my procedure - before the bruising and puffiness had a chance - I looked in her mirror and said, "When I was young my eyes were beautiful. They're going to be beautiful again!" I had forgotten how my eyes used to look.

Tomorrow we're going to a family wedding in central Washington. I bought enormous sunglasses at Fred Meyer last week, so I'll look like the mysterious aunt rather than like Count Dracula. I don't want to draw any attention away from the bride.

Last night I dreamed I was in Paris again, and a local commented that my clothes were six years out of style. I've never paid much attention to style, so I wondered why the dream. Then it dawned on me - as I read more about voluntary simplicity and as Art and I make sensible cutbacks in our spending, I don't need to buy new clothes every year. My current wardrobe is just about fine, thanks. But some part of me, maybe, is not so sure.

I had an insight, too. I've got these goals of teaching English as a second language, becoming a mediator, and working with Habitat for Humanity. I like the goals because they all help someone's life improve. But I wonder why I've chosen goals that require me to learn new things, to be not an expert, at least for some period of time? Why don't I have goals that require me to use skills and strengths I already have? This is Chicken Linda speaking. Pay no attention.

My doctor assured me today that I don't have a terminal illness. I just have normal aging issues. I feel so much better knowing I'm probably going to live a while longer! All of a sudden, our several upcoming trips look interesting again. Maine, then Italy, for starters.

4 comments:

DJan said...

What is it that makes us want to keep from living fully by having something happen to us that is completely out of our control? I do that all the time, and your dream also resonated with me. What can you be an expert at right now, right out of the starting block? It would be interested to speculate! Hugs and commiseration!

Blissed-Out Grandma said...

Hmm, you raise an interesting question. Nothing wrong with wanting to learn new things, but... Do we lack confidence to put our wisdom and expertise to work? Is that why so many of us think we have to get training to build our credentials? (I did that all through my career...could have taught a lot of the seminars that I attended.)

Deb Shucka said...

Learning new skills keeps your brain growing and vital. Using your old skills in new ways does the same thing. So glad your surgery went well.

Linda Reeder said...

Learning new skills can be a renewing experience, just as your surgery will renew and restore your beautiful eyes. But new learning also takes courage, which you seem to have. And we always use our accumulated wisdom and knowledge, even in new applications.