This time it's because of my blood pressure. For two years I'd been taking a med, lisinopril, worked fine for my bp but caused me to cough. I went off it in December and have been working with my doc to find another effective med. The first two he prescribed didn't do the job. So I wandered into the back alley of "I'll never find a med that works, and I'll have to go back to the old one and cough all the time. Or I could lose 40 pounds and maybe not need the med, but I'll start the diet tomorrow, only I won't. " And as long as I'm in that back alley, I think about my husband Art, whose blood pressure is also too high, and he's working with the doctor also, but he's not rigidly compliant about monitoring his blood pressure or taking his meds or having the lab test done to check his potassium levels, so it's more likely I'll be either a widow or the wife of an invalid, and that will mean money issues. Bag lady stuff, you know.
Such a useful train of thought! When I get stuck there, I know what needs to be done. I connect with friends, reach out to someone in need, and get some exercise. So far, I haven't done any of those things. Maybe I need to wallow from time to time to remember how much fun it isn't.
The latest med, a beta blocker, has brought my bp down to a nice level. But it also makes me tired and a little anxious. Or maybe my back-alley pondering is the culprit, or the touch of something I've had all weekend, or our trip to Santa Fe with its attendant family issues - or all of the above.
Better get out there and take a walk.