Monday, October 3, 2016

Quietude

Last Monday I got a massage and vertigo. For four days I was quiet. I canceled half of the activities on my calendar, including a volunteer session at small claims court. The vertigo wasn't too bad, but I thought it would be wise not to drive.

Inside my house in the cooling autumn weather, I went through a file cabinet and threw out half the paperwork we've accumulated over the past 20 years. I read. I slept.

I have had a very busy summer, with lots of travel. I am slowing down now.

I am thinking about my five guiding values: spirituality, health, community, curiosity and purpose. Those values still hold. My spirituality is shifting and stirring. I've been thrown out of my own orbit by my August volunteer experience at a refugee camp in Greece. I feel oddly isolated; the only people who understand what happened to me there are people who have had a similar experience. The isolation is not a bad thing.

In two days I'm going to Vashon Island -- just across the Puget Sound from Seattle -- for five days, with four other bloggers. We will be doing a lot of writing. My mind is so quiet I don't know what's in there to write about. That's not a bad thing either.

Then I return to Greece for another two weeks. I expect it will be different the second time, and that is fine.

My mind is full of quiet. Not peace or bliss or joy or enthusiasm. Quiet.

Actually, that's a good thing. 

6 comments:

Dreamer said...

It is true that one who has not experienced certain things, has no idea of your experience, even though you write about it so beautifully. It can make you feel alone, except for the ones who have experienced it with you. I think that is the reason that so many veterans feel adrift, when they come back home.

I need quiet time alone to recharge. I am an introvert, who likes people, but also need my down time.

Enjoy both of your trips. I am sure that you will be recharged for them.

DJan said...

I'll see you tomorrow, Linda. I am so looking forward to our retreat! If you want me to drive, just let me know. :-)

rosaria williams said...

Experiences become part of our dna.

Deb Shucka said...

Enjoy the quiet while you can. It's about to end in a big way! :-)

Arkansas Patti said...

Have a great time at Vashon Island and take pictures.

Mona McGinnis said...

Linda, you say you got a massage and vertigo. I have been experiencing episodes of benign paroxysmal positional vertigo (BPPV) x 2 yrs. The longest episode lasted 10 days during which I could hardly leave my bed without bouncing off the walls and vomiting. I have since been prescribed Serc to manage it, a medication that I take at the onset of symptoms. Since taking Serc, I have only experienced the vomiting with dizziness once; I think I didn't start the meds soon enough. You talk of your mind being full of quiet. I try to surrender to the BPPV, wait as patiently as I can for the symptoms to subside and trusting that they will, yet I find it's hard to let my mind fill with quiet during an episode. I feel so miserable and it's so debilitating. What is your experience with the vertigo?