Beginning Year Three

I left my job two years ago last week.

In the first year I had multiple goals: to learn to teach English as a second language; to participate in a build for Habitat for Humanity; and to take a course in basic mediation. I did all those things. In the second year I clarified my values and made a list of of my priorities for each day: spirituality, health, community, curiosity, and purpose. On most days, I honored those priorities.

So far, so good. I've published a book, experienced my 15 minutes of fame as a representative of sorts for Road Scholar and Habitat for Humanity, and am well past midway to becoming a certified mediator. And we've taken 23 trips in the last 24 months.

That all sounds exhausting!

So what's on the horizon for Year Three?

Mostly I have no idea. I am still sure that my values-based priorities are valid for me. But I am aware that my body isn't getting any younger. Many activities advertised in the Seattle paper don't sound worth the effort to get in the car, brave the traffic and find a parking place. I'm thinking about logging on to the three senior centers nearby and seeing what kinds of outings they're willing to drive us to. Maybe a play downtown, where all I have to do is hand over my ticket and walk into the theater? I'm considering hiring a grandchild to weed the garden. My younger neighbor already mows our side lawn along with his own. Gads!

It could be, though, that I'm thinking and feeling this way because I'm entering Week 5 as the Minion to the Man with the New Knee. I'm doing most of the chores he usually takes care of which, of course, I've taken for granted for years. And I'm thinking that as we get older - and he is, after all, five years older than me - we'll be less and less inclined to take care of all this stuff ourselves. Or maybe less able. Or some combination of the two. A big yard with a garden is a thing of beauty and all that, but it's a lot of work. I'm not alone yet, but I may well be at some point in the future. I need to be thinking about what's next - not how many things can I cram into the time now, but how to gracefully handle the events of living when things aren't so good as they are right now. How I'd manage on my own, if it came to that. I do want to live in the moment, but keeping an eye out for the future is also a good idea.

In the meantime, I keep up with my exercise. I'm eating well. I read. Yesterday I made a reservation for a park model at a resort in Tucson for next January and February. I never ever thought we would be snowbirds, but we seem to be drifting in that direction. Sun is a good thing in the winter, I've decided.

And the sun is finally out in Washington State!

My 15 minutes of fame? - Part 3

Back in April, a film crew was at my house for two days. I'd been selected by Road Scholar and Participant Media to be interviewed and filmed as an example of a person in retirement who wanted to make a difference. I had no idea how the video would turn out. Now I know!

Here's the video, created by Participant Media from the two days of filming.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6hNtEeY8g6A

You can read about the filming experience in two of my blog posts.

http://bagladyinwaiting.blogspot.com/2012/04/my-15-minutes-of-fame-part-1.html

and

http://bagladyinwaiting.blogspot.com/2012/04/my-15-minutes-of-fame-part-2.html

This is very cool - not bad at all for my 15 minutes of fame. I'm about 12 pounds thinner than I was then, but oh, well!

The Man with the knee and the Minion

My husband Art is a hard worker, a helpful man, the person who shops and cooks and fixes and gardens and drives. I am also a hard worker, the person who takes care of the money and plans the trips and coordinates the housekeeper and communicates with the eight grown children.

Art is now 17 days post-surgery on a new knee. He has worked mightily in physical therapy and achieved impressive results. He has graduated from walker to cane. He has elevated and iced and the swelling has come down. He has greatly reduced his daily intake of oxycodone.

However, he can't work hard right now. Can't shop or cook much or fix much or garden much or drive at all. Those things have fallen to me, the minion.

For the past four days we have had one short outing each day: out to breakfast on Saturday at a local diner; to a morning meeting on Sunday; to massages today. They say the stamina is the last to return. That means, after each outing, Art needs the rest of the day to rest.

But not me.

We never watch television, except for shows and movies on Netflix. TV is about all Art can manage right now. I have been listening to "kill and maim" TV shows and movies for nearly a week now. The TV is on six or seven hours a day. Not loud, but on.

I have cut the lettuce from the garden for salads. Pulled up the two remaining turnips in the garden and brought in 150 seeds to put in an envelope. Weeded the buttercups so our little yard crew (son and grandson) can spread the mulch next weekend. Driven to the pho place to pick up dinner. Driven to Safeway to pick up almond milk. Put the newspapers and the bottles into the recycle bin. Taken the recycle and trash bins to the curb. Loaded and unloaded the dishwasher. Cleared the table. Filled Art's ice pump with ice. Moved the ice pump from the bedroom to the living room to the bedroom. Filled Art's water bottle with water and ice. Done the laundry. Changed the sheets. Counseled with two grown children.

I am taking care of myself, though. I get seven hours of sleep each night, at least. I go to exercise class on weekdays. Today I got a massage for the first time in three weeks. I fell asleep on the massage table. I never do that. Tomorrow I get to mediate at the dispute resolution center. Tomorrow night I get to meet with my writers group.

Still. I am one tired minion. So, so grateful this is temporary.

Only seven days?

My husband Art had a total knee replacement on Friday, June 8. It has been a long, long week. I'm going to defer to my sister's blog for her excellent description of our experience.

http://1nurseratched-1nurseratched.blogspot.com/

Week two begins tomorrow. I hope I am ready.

Author's request

As you probably know, my husband Art and I published a book called "Return to Viet Nam: One Veteran's Journey of Healing." It came out last December, and we have received two quarterly royalty checks - what a total thrill!

We self-published this book; that is, we paid a publishing company to produce our book in hardcopy, paperback and eBook format. Though we're happy with the product, there were more bumps in the road than I had expected. We are still smoothing out some of the bumps.

For example, if you look for the book on Amazon, you'll find the hardcopy and the paperback if you spell the country in the title with two words - Viet Nam. But the Kindle version spells it with one - Vietnam. So the three versions don't sort together unless you search for the author's name - Linda G Myers. And on Barnes & Noble it's just the opposite - the Nook version says Vietnam and the hardcopy and paperback say Viet Nam - but for some reason all three versions sort together. These errors originated someplace between the time I submitted the manuscript to the publisher and the time the online retailers received the information.

As soon as our publisher corrects the online title problem - they told me last week it was being "expedited" - we want to submit our book to places like the public library, independent booksellers, and retailers. The library, at least, looks at reviews as part of its process to decide whether to carry the book. So here's my request. If you have read our book, I'd be most grateful if you'd go to Amazon and/or Barnes & Noble and write a review, so the library can see what people think.

This book is not the Great American Novel. It's the story of one young Marine, his day of combat in 1968, and the influence that day had on his life for 35 years until he returned to Viet Nam in 2005 in a journey of reconciliation and healing. I've heard positive, moving comments from veterans who have read it, and from others who have bought extra copies for vets they know.

If you'd like to hear Art read the first chapter, called "One Day of Combat", you can click on that option on the right-hand side of this page.

So that's my request. If you've read the book, please consider reviewing it as a step to getting it out there for others to read.

Thanks!

Moving forward on four roads

Sometimes we just live from day to day, taking things as they come along. And sometimes we know we're moving forward. This is one of those times.

First, I'm excited to say that, on Tuesday, I passed my Professional Standards Evaluation in my mediation practicum. Now I move forward to co-mediate 12 sessions and attend several in-services, on the road to becoming a certified mediator in the state of Washington. This will be a volunteer activity, mostly, and I have both the skill and the passion to undertake it. I'm grateful to have found a meaningful way to be useful in my community. I have a feeling I'll use mediation in other areas of my life, too.

My husband Art is having knee replacement surgery a week from today. I've gone with him to the class at the hospital and the pre-surgical consultation with the surgeon. Art has done the dental checkup thing, the physical checkup thing, the order-the-walker thing. We've made arrangement for my sister Alyx to fly down from Anchorage and be Art's "coach" (no longer "caregiver") for the first week after surgery. She's a second-year nursing student with a great sense of humor and a solid, trusting relationship with both of us.  Art isn't a particularly compliant patient, and I'm not a particularly accepting wife around noncompliance, so having Alyx here for the first week will be easier on everyone - except maybe Alyx! Art isn't supposed to drive for six weeks after the surgery, so I'm keeping my summer schedule as open as possible. I can take an exercise class any three of four days a week, depending on what's going on. Art and I are fairly independent as a rule, but this summer it will shift. We've done this several times before, after a surgery, so I'm anticipating some bumps but an overall recovery afterwards - and a schooner cruise off the coast of Maine in late summer to reward us for our work.

While we walk this presurgical road, we're still on the eating plan, heading into our third week on mostly fruits, vegetables, beans and nuts. Art has lost 11 pounds. I haven't weighed myself since last weekend, but there's a looseness around my waistband and a bit less of a muffin above it. Today I had a treat for lunch - Chinese food at a local restaurant with broccoli (legitimate on the eating plan) and shrimp (not). An occasional treat makes the process easier. I'm encouraged. The toughest part of this road is behind us, I think.

The most fun road, though, is that I've finally gotten the publisher of our book to ask Amazon and Barnes&Noble to correct the title on their websites. Some places it's "Viet Nam" and others it's "Vietnam". Art says it only matters to me. I say, well, if you're looking for all the versions of the book so you can choose which one you want to buy, they don't all sort together if the titles are different. After a couple of months of fruitless emails to the publisher, I called yesterday and connected with Daisy in customer service. And she has expedited the issue. She also assured me that the updated version of the book is the one that's out there, including the ebook version. I downloaded it today onto my Kindle and she is right. Finally! Now I'll begin to contact the library, and bookstores, and local radio stations. I didn't want to do that until the latest version of the book was available. In the meantime, Art and I each carry a few copies of it around with us. And we'll be continuing our deliveries to the Vet Centers - it will be the ones in Washington and Oregon this summer.

These four roads - mediation, surgery, weight loss, and the book - are the ones I'm on for the summer. You know in the winter we'll be on the ones that take us to Arizona or some other sunny place!

I'm on the Bandwagon

This is day 10 of our current eating plan, based on Dr. Joel Fuhrman's book "Eat to Live". We're eating fruits (unlimited allowed), vegetables (also unlimited allowed), legumes, and nuts. Six weeks of this.  The eating plan is based on the most nutrient-rich foods per calorie.

It started with Art's upcoming knee replacement surgery. He wants to get his weight down about 20 pounds. Also, we both would like to get off our bp meds.

It hasn't been a fun experience so far. I really miss eggs, cheese and butter. But surprisingly, not sugar or meat. And this morning, eating a bowl of oatmeal topped with fresh blueberries, I think about our former Saturday morning ritual, breakfast at our local diner, where I'd order a three-egg omelet with hash browns and a buttered English muffin. We'll probably do that again, but not for the next 44 days. And, frankly, I'm not hungry enough to get even halfway through such a breakfast.

I have a couple of blogging friends who dropped ten pounds last year over a period of time. I remember their comments about increased energy and smaller clothing.  Except for right after my divorce,  there hasn't been a time in my life when I've lost weight effortlessly. And, though I am reasonably active as far as walking and exercise, when I pair it with unmonitored food consumption, I get muscles along with fat. It's not the weight loss I'm after this time for my appearance, though. It's the health benefits.

Anyway, I'm on the bandwagon. Not thrilled yet, but on it.

On Tuesday, I take my Professional Standards Evaluation (PSE) test for my mediation coursework. It's a mock mediation to demonstrate the skills I've acquired so far. If I pass the first time, I'll need to do 12 mediations as a co-mediator with a certified person, and then I'll be just about certified. I love this mediation work. It seems to suit my talents and my interest. I'm a complete believer in the importance of being useful in my life, and I think this will do it to a large extent. I'm a little nervous. I'm actually reluctant to even post this, because if I don't pass the first time I'll have to admit it to my blogging community. Achiever, you know, in my past life.

I'll focus on the present day for now, though. Finish my oatmeal and blueberries, go to the gym for time  on the elliptical trainer, return to my yard for some weeding in the sunshine. This afternoon I'll spend a couple of hours preparing for the PSE. Sounds like a good day to me!