A conversation with my Afghan friends. You're invited.

I've been chatting most evenings on Facebook with my Afghan friends. Mostly it's been with Samira, since she's 12 time zones ahead of me (I'm in Arizona, Mountain Standard Time). Samira is still in Pakistan. Because of a few donations from friends, she and her family have moved from a one-room place with a washroom but no kitchen, to a two-room lodging. Her children can play outside now. She is reaching out to make connections elsewhere in hopes of finding a way to leave Pakistan for another, safer country.

Many of us don't know any refugees, so what we learn about their plight these days is just what we read in the paper or online. That was my situation until I spent some time volunteering at a camp in Greece. Now I'm aware of it every day. 

Two friends of mine here in Tucson have offered to host a webinar on Saturday, December 4. Both Nadim and Samira will be joining us, from Germany and Pakistan. I'll be having a conversation with them, basing the topics on my own knowledge of their experiences as well as on questions that are sent to me by people planning to attend the webinar. There will be an opportunity for attendees to post their questions online as well.

The webinar will begin at 10:00 a.m. Mountain Standard time on the 4th. If you are interested in being part of this experience, please send me an email asking for an invitation. My email address is budsmom48@gmail.com. In your email, please include any questions you may have for Nadim or Samira. I'd like to hear from you by Wednesday, November 24.

"We are all in this together, and we are all the same."

Update on my Afghan friend Samira

For those of you who have asked for an update:

My friend Samira is still in Pakistan with her husband and three small children. Last week they were living in a one-room place with a washroom but no kitchen. Because she does not feel safe, the family remained indoors.

When I sent out my blog post The Bag Lady has an Afghan Friend, I posted it more widely than usual. Not just to my blog followers and on my Facebook page, but to many people in my email contacts list. It's important to me that people have direct knowledge of a real, actual person experiencing the trauma currently happening in Afghanistan, rather than just reading about it in the paper or hearing it on the radio or TV.

Several people offered financial help. I told them I would let them know if Samira said that was what she needed. Her most pressing concern is the safety of her family. She is sending emails and letters of introduction to colleges and nonprofits and other agencies engaged in resettlement work, hoping for a helping hand to get to the US. So far she hasn't made much progress.

I've told her a story that comes from chaos theory, but it's a good story. There will be 100 rabbits at the starting line of a race. At the finish line is a basket of carrots. We know one of those rabbits is going to get the carrots. But we don't know which one. So we're gathering the rabbits for the race: a retired professor friend of mine who made calls to friends; a doctor with experience working with asylum seekers and refugees; a friend of Samira who has made it to a resettlement center in Albany, New York; another friend still in Afghanistan who knows the name of someone who made it out; a retired woman from the University of Washington Law School. Each of those people represents a rabbit at the starting line. 

Then, three days ago, Samira wrote and told me reluctantly that she needed the money I'd offered, to rent a two-room place with more room for her family, where her children could play outside. I sent an email to the three people who'd offered. Yesterday I went online to Western Union and sent $350 - 60,000 rupees - enough money to pay rent on the larger place for three months. I heard from Western Union this morning that the money had been picked up. And today Samira and her family moved.

The search for rabbits continues. I am hopeful. Out of 100 rabbits, Samira only needs one.

Me and the DMV with photo change

It was nearly two years ago that I lost my credit card and driver’s license on a bike ride. I was on my e-bike in Tucson, riding with my friend Ellen, and somewhere along the Loop the documents fell out of my pannier. At least I think that’s what happened. I searched the bike, then the car, then my house. Couldn’t find them anywhere.

I had a lot of autopays on that credit card, so I decided not to cancel it unless something showed up that I hadn’t charged. Then I’d dispute the charge and have the credit card replaced. I wrote the number with a Sharpie on my laptop lid - except for the last four digits - and I have used that credit card for 18 months without incident.

I sent away for a copy of my Washington driver’s license, and it arrived within a week or so. Everything was just like the old one, but there was no photo on it. So I couldn’t use it as a photo ID. For nearly 18 months I carried my passport with me so I’d have proof of who I was. Recently someone reminded me that my photo was also on my Costco card. That would probably have been easier. 

Then, this summer, I decided to get a new driver’s license. I’d read somewhere that if I went into a DMV office I could get a new one, and that they’d use the most recent photo in their system to put on my new license.

I made an appointment for three weeks out - this was Covid time, and staffing was light. So I showed up for my appointment about two weeks after my hip replacement surgery. My husband Art drove me to the place. When my name was called, I went up to the window. The lady said, “I can’t give you a new license today because you’re using a walker. You’ll need to come back when you’re just using a cane. Maybe just a week or so. Come on a Saturday morning - there’s not usually a line and you can get in without an appointment.” I was a little annoyed, but I’m fairly compliant by nature, so I left without complaint.

It was nearly a month before I graduated from a walker to a cane. Then I showed up at the DMV on a Saturday morning. There was a long line for people without appointments. I stood there for about 15 minutes and the line didn’t move. We had another commitment elsewhere, so we left.

The next Saturday I showed up again. Another long line. This time a woman in front of me started yelling and cursing at the DMV line monitor. He called his supervisor who was unsuccessful at getting the woman calmed down. I’m thinking she was homeless with a mental illness of some kind. Most of us in line were watching her, appalled at her behavior. Once she left, the line had grown long and I was pretty sure I wouldn’t get in before the office closed at noon. So, once again, I left. We were due to leave for Tucson in a couple of weeks to spend the winter. I figured I’d just use my passport and Costco card for my picture ID.

When I got home, I decided all of a sudden to see if there were any appointments available at the DMV before November 1, when we were leaving. To my amazement, there was one available that afternoon at 3! A cancellation, I’m sure. I took the appointment and showed up yet again - my fourth trip to the DMV in six weeks.

At the window, the DMV person asked the usual questions and THEN he said, “Okay. Time to take your picture.” I hadn’t expected that, so I hadn’t combed my hair or put on any makeup. Just a T-shirt and a hoodie, with wild curly hair from standing outside in the rain for ten minutes.

I got my driver’s license in the mail the next week. The photo was the best I have ever taken in 55 years of driver’s licenses. 

Go figure! 

Me and the DMV

It was nearly two years ago that I lost my credit card and driver’s license on a bike ride. I was on my e-bike in Tucson, riding with my friend Ellen, and somewhere along the Loop the documents fell out of my pannier. At least I think that’s what happened. I searched the bike, then the car, then my house. Couldn’t find them anywhere.

I had a lot of autopays on that credit card, so I decided not to cancel it unless something showed up that I hadn’t charged. Then I’d dispute the charge and have the credit card replaced. I wrote the number with a Sharpie on my laptop lid - except for the last four digits - and I have used that credit card for 18 months without incident.

I sent away for a copy of my Washington driver’s license, and it arrived within a week or so. Everything was just like the old one, but there was no photo on it. So I couldn’t use it as a photo ID. For nearly 18 months I carried my passport with me so I’d have proof of who I was. Recently someone reminded me that my photo was also on my Costco card. That would probably have been easier. 

Then, this summer, I decided to get a new driver’s license. I’d read somewhere that if I went into a DMV office I could get a new one, and that they’d use the most recent photo in their system to put on my new license.

I made an appointment for three weeks out - this was Covid time, and staffing was light. So I showed up for my appointment about two weeks after my hip replacement surgery. My husband Art drove me to the place. When my name was called, I went up to the window. The lady said, “I can’t give you a new license today because you’re using a walker. You’ll need to come back when you’re just using a cane. Maybe just a week or so. Come on a Saturday morning - there’s not usually a line and you can get in without an appointment.” I was a little annoyed, but I’m fairly compliant by nature, so I left without complaint.

It was nearly a month before I graduated from a walker to a cane. Then I showed up at the DMV on a Saturday morning. There was a long line for people without appointments. I stood there for about 15 minutes and the line didn’t move. We had another commitment elsewhere, so we left.

The next Saturday I showed up again. Another long line. This time a woman in front of me started yelling and cursing at the DMV line monitor. He called his supervisor who was unsuccessful at getting the woman calmed down. I’m thinking she was homeless with a mental illness of some kind. Most of us in line were watching her, appalled at her behavior. Once she left, the line had grown long and I was pretty sure I wouldn’t get in before the office closed at noon. So, once again, I left. We were due to leave for Tucson in a couple of weeks to spend the winter. I figured I’d just use my passport and Costco card for my picture ID.

When I got home, I decided all of a sudden to see if there were any appointments available at the DMV before November 1, when we were leaving. To my amazement, there was one available that afternoon at 3! A cancellation, I’m sure. I took the appointment and showed up yet again - my fourth trip to the DMV in six weeks.

At the window, the DMV person asked the usual questions and THEN he said, “Okay. Time to take your picture.” I hadn’t expected that, so I hadn’t combed my hair or put on any makeup. Just a T-shirt and a hoodie, with wild curly hair from standing outside in the rain for ten minutes.

I got my driver’s license in the mail the next week. The photo was the best I have ever taken in 55 years of driver’s licenses. 

Go figure!