My mother was something of a snob. She'd made good by marrying a career military officer, and from her position of security, she freely cast judgment on others and taught her daughters to do likewise. Anything she didn't care for -- art that differed from what she liked, wardrobe choices she found unattractive, home decor she wouldn't have chosen -- she dismissed as in "bad taste".
She was particularly scornful of plastic flamingos on lawns. All of us pointed and laughed when we saw one. It was almost a game. "Oh, look! Six flamingos over there," someone would say, and heads would swivel to take in this worst of all offenses.
As an adult I obtained a professional degree and worked for a company that developed software for educational institutions. From time to time I would be sent into the field to train customers to use the software. One day I drove to a school-district office to teach their accounts payable clerk how to use a system called WISE. The computer was slow that day, and the program's logo, a "wise" owl, displayd for an unusually long time as we logged on. To break the silence, I asked the clerk what she thought of the owl.
"It's all right," she said.
Lowering my voice conspiratorially, I said, "I think it's in bad taste myself. You know: like flamingos on someone's lawn."
"I have flamingos on my lawn," she replied.
I excused myself and slunk to the restroom.
I try to learn from my mistakes. So when I redid my yard several years alger, I put out a pink flamingo in it to remind me of that lesson. I wonder if people laugh at it when they drive by.
My submission was accepted! In the July 2024 issue of The Sun, you can see it, along with a dozen or so others: Linda Myers, Brier, Washington.
Last week I got a letter from an inmate in Joliet, Illinois, praising my little essay and commenting on what he most appreciated about it. I knew that The Sun sometimes sends free copies to prisoners, so I wasn't surprised.
I Googled the prison and found the inmate. His name is Dedric T. Moore. been in prison since 1999 and is scheduled to get out in 2039. He was 19 when he was convicted of murder and other offenses. Now he is 45. He is going to college through the Northwestern Prison Education program.
My first fan mail.
