Falling, Falling

As I've gotten older, one of my goals is not to fall. Most of the time I'm successful because I pay attention to how I'm standing and walking. I fell only once this summer, when I tripped over a curb at Starbucks.

My husband Art has a harder time. When he worked he was a line crew foreman for the electric company, which required lots of physical activity. And he has always been a fixer of things at home. Now he's older (82), and his reflexes are slower, and his balance isn't what it used to be. He's had three falls in the last month.

• About a month ago, we'd gone for a walk using our trekking poles. I took a longer walk than he did. When I got home he was sitting on the deck. He told me he'd fallen on the first of two steps to our deck. I said, "How did that happen?" and he said, "Well, in my right hand I had my trekking poles and a bunch of grapes I picked from the arbor in the garden. In my left hand I had the mail and the newspaper." So he couldn't use the railings. He bumped his head, but it was nothing serious. We talked about the fall, and he agreed to carry a lightweight daypack when going for the mail, plus he agreed to wear a lanyard connected to Bay Alarm, our emergency help company. That has worked so far.

• Three weeks ago - the day before we flew to Tucson to our winter residence - he was working in the yard. He decided to trim some errant blackberry branches on the easement. Our easement is on a 45-degree downhill slope. Art stood at the top of the slope to cut the branches and gravity had its way with him. He tumbled down the slope and was stopped by a piece of wood, which cut his head. He takes blood thinners, so there was a bunch of blood on his face.  Struggling to get himself upright, he rolled onto a wasp nest and was stung multiple times. No damage to his head except the cut. But he itched from those stings for a week - including the next day on the plane.

• Late last Sunday night, Art took the trash bin to the curb. The bin caught on some gravel in the driveway. He pulled hard on the bin and it fell over onto him. He fell into the street, landing on his hip and hitting his head again. He didn't tell me about the incident until the next morning. He was feeling stiff and sore and having a little bit of trouble walking. We agreed to wait until evening to see if he should go to the ER. We went. CT scans on his head and pelvis showed no damage, but his recovery from this fall was slower, and he decided to use a walker.

Four days later Art and I went into town for his annual appointment with his PCP. She looked at his hip and said it was just bruised, but that it could take a few weeks to heal. After the appointment Art said we needed to go to the grocery store. He was pretty insistent, so I went in with him. He leaned against the cart as he walked every aisle of the store. By the next day he could barely move without pain. I did some research and found out he had overdone it too soon after his injury. He is supposed to rest for three to five days. So far, he is doing that. 

We've had a conversation. I know being able to do the manly things is important. I said, "You get to decide what quality of life looks like to you. You can either continue to take risks and fall and have a long recovery time, or you can do things differently and, instead, spend your energy walking to increase your strength and stamina so we can travel. It is up to you."

In the last three days he has let me hire a man to replace the battery in our golf cart, call another man about removing the large barrel cactus that fell in our back yard during the summer, and let a friend move our old recliner into the driveway so the new one could be set up by the delivery people. He also let me water the plants on the deck.

I believe he may be ready to take fewer risks. Time will tell.